The Pause That Refreshes

My dearest buddy nibbles away at the edges of her Chocolate Pyramid...And after having devoured two-fifths of a Black Forest, I am weighing the wisdom of this indulgence. It's a cool, Saturday evening, and the mall approximates our idea of happiness - comfy chairs and tables, the waiters don't hurry you up, you can talk-pause-stare-eat-drink-talk-pause at leisure and the night stretches out like an endless, velvety black carpet. Even the occasional silence is delightful - those pauses when she and I scan the air for the right word or thought or there's nothing more to add...and then our eyes meet and we open our mouths to speak at the same time and smile...is there a hidden choreographer guiding us? Our hands weave patterns in animated talks, now and then her hand seeks mine as if to convince ourselves this shared evening is as real as the burnt smell of the brownie wafting from a nearby table...my fingers wipe away some crumbs from her cheek with one swift, light movement...she removes a lock of my hair from my forehead so that she can see me better...at times, a conversation seems tedious...there's nothing to say or left to say...everything's known, and the unknown seems unimportant...we rejoice in these little parcels of proximity granted by someone up there who likes us...we look at people talking non-stop and wonder...how can you stretch talk for that long? All these dialogues, these words and sentences renting the surroundings - what do they signify? Everyone's trading information...a cacophony's created by the itsy-bitsy details of their lives, our lives...my phone rings and as I talk, she gesticulates with an urgency that I hang up...she reminds me this is "Our Time Out"...our own selfish, precious "Our Time Out" code says two's company, three's a crowd. Period. My hurried 'Bye!' elicits a grateful smile...her phone croaks but she won't answer...I laugh at the goddamn ring tone...she silences it...I try out silver earrings, bangles...the pretty trinkets make me feel oh-so-feminine...When was the last time I felt this feminine? When I wore that hazelnut lipstick or those pink socks or cried at the ending of Thelma & Louise? I take off my sneakers to try out a pair of strappy sandals. Deliciously feminine. My discoveries amuse her. I promise to buy them some other day. Her adamance wins me a silver bangle...she balances the tray as children fly past her and walks towards me half-scared and grinning as I set our table...these moments of togetherness - Lord, it's such a pleasure to be a woman and be with another woman...